RETIREDIt's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's Bob!
by The Long Name Ending In Cookie
Summary: Kay, I'm actually uploading something. This is the story of Bob, the superhero Tauros. It starts off being humorous, but of course just becomes plain disturbing. PG for that reason, and for the guns.


21st Century Vulpix presents  
  
IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE, IT'S... BOB!  
By PinkScyther  
  
DISCLAIMER: Well if you own it you know I don't!  
  
This is a fic about a superhero. He's a Tauros named Bob. Bob must save the world... or at least, Togepi and a few people. WARNING: Very insane. This is one of my insane humor type fics, it might possibly have some drama but most likely mock drama.  
Started: 25/3/01  
  
It was a quiet, peaceful morning out in the middle of nowhere. Ash, Brock, Misty, Pikachu and Togepi woke early.  
  
Everything was normal, until Misty noticed that Togepi was missing. "Oh no, Togepi's missing!" she cried.  
"Look, there she is!" said Ash, pointing to where Togepi was happily playing on the edge of a cliff. An extremely fast river full of piranhas and crocodiles and sharp pointy rocks and whirlpools and waterfalls and toxic waste swirled below. Togepi was happily dodging drops of acid rain and leaping over landmines, while the ground she was standing on slowly cracked and lava came flowing out, pushing the crack open further so it was about to fall off completely.  
"PIPIPI!" cried Pikachu. He rushed to her aid, but stopped one millimetre from a landmine.  
"Togepi! Pikachu!" cried Misty. She rushed to their aid but stopped one millimetre from Pikachu who was one millimetre from the landmine.   
"Togepi! Pikachu! Misty!" cried Ash. He also rushed to their aid and stopped one millimetre from Misty who was one millimetre away from Pikachu who was one millimetre from the landmine.  
"Togepi! Pikachu! Misty! Ash!" cried Brock. He rushed to their aid too and stopped one millimetre from Ash who was one millimetre from Misty who was one millimetre from Pikachu who was one millimetre from the landmine.  
Just then Togepi came up, looked questioningly at everyone, and then jumped onto the landmine.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
"It must have been a dud," said Ash. *CRASH* Everyone fell over... onto the landmine.  
  
*KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!*  
  
"Maybe it was a delayed action landmine," said Brock thoughtfully as they all flew through the air.  
They were travelling at the speed of sound when suddenly they collided with Jessie, James and Meowth who were blasting off in the opposite direction.  
"It's the twerps!" said James. Just then they started falling.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!"  
They were about to land in the river at the bottom of the cliff, when suddenly something caught them and they stopped falling.   
As they were flown upwards, they tried to see who was saving them. They were flown right back up to Ash, Brock and Misty's camp. Ash, Brock, Misty, Pikachu, Jessie, James and Meowth got down and saw to their amazement that their saviour was a Tauros.  
The Tauros wore a cape that looked like an American flag. As they watched it reared up and stood on it's hind legs. "Hi, I'm Bob!" it said.  
"A talking Tauros?!" Ash grabbed his PokéDex.  
*Bing* "Tauros, the Wild Bull Pokémon. When it targets an enemy, it charges furiously while whipping its body with its long tails"  
"Thanks for saving us, Bob." said Brock.  
"I'm a superhero! It's my job!" Bob replied.  
"Pika!" said Pikachu.   
Ash understood. "Hey, where's Team Rocket?"  
  
Jessie, James and Meowth had slipped away and were now hiding in a tree.  
"Did you see that? A talking, flying Tauros!" said Jessie excitedly.  
"Just tink what da Boss'd say if we brought dat to him!" said Meowth, equally excited.  
"But Jessie," whined James. "How are we gonna catch it? It's a superhero!"  
"I have a plan..." She smiled her evil smile.  
  
"I must be off. I have a world to protect!" said Bob. He turned and shot into the air, but didn't get very far.  
Suddenly, a giant metal cage-net thing appeared out of nowhere and fell on Bob, sending him back down to the ground and trapping him under it.  
Then the familiar Meowth's Head Balloon floated into view. Jessie, James and Meowth laughed.  
"Team Rocket!" said Ash.  
"Prepare--"  
Jessie was interrupted because at that moment Bob smashed the metal cage-net thing with his horns. Then he flew up to the balloon and put a hole right in the middle of it.  
"We're blasting off again!" cried Jessie, James and Meowth as they blasted off. Ash 'n co cheered, and Bob flew away into the sunset.  
  
"Please don't wander off like that again, Togepi." Misty told the cute little egg. "You're lucky Bob came and saved us!"  
Togepi squirmed. "Prrrrrri!" she chirped.  
***  
The next day, Ash, Brock, Misty, Pikachu and Togepi arrived in a new town. The first thing they saw when they reached the Pokémon Centre was Bob and a crowd of people cheering.  
"What happened?" Ash asked Nurse Joy.  
"Oh, Bob just came and opened the brand new Pokémon Centre for us!" she replied.  
"Wow, Bob's really famous!" Ash said. Brock was drooling over Nurse Joy AGAIN but the red tape that had just been cut came blowing in the wind and nearly strangled him.  
Ash 'n that went into the Centre, and suddenly the telephone rang. He went and answered it.  
It was Professor Oak. He looked really freaked out. "Ash! Thank goodness!"  
"What's wrong Professor?" Ash asked concernedly.  
Professor Oak looked around wildly before continuing. "It's Tracey! He's gone berserk! AAAAH!"  
Just then the Prof was yanked away from the screen. There were sounds of a struggle, and then Tracey's ugly face appeared.   
"Tracey?!" cried Ash. "What's going on?!"  
"Well, it was none of your business really, but look!" He moved and Ash saw Professor Oak, Gary, Mimie and Mrs Ketchum tied up.   
"Waah! What's happening?" Ash asked.  
Tracey reappeared on the screen, laughing evilly. He got a gun out, and walked over to the people tied up on the floor. "Now, who will die first?"  
Ash couldn't stand any more. He dropped the phone and screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Bob came up. He saw the screen. "We have to stop him!" he cried.  
"Bob, can you take us there too?" asked Brock.  
"Okay. Let's go!"   
Ash, Brock, Misty, Togepi and Pikachu climbed onto Bob's back and he ran out the door and leapt into the sky. He reached the speed of sound in a few seconds, and they arrived at Professor Oak's lab in Pallet Town in no time.  
Ash etc jumped off Bob and ran inside. They burst into the room where Tracey was holding Mimie, Mrs Ketchum, Gary and Professor Oak captive.  
"What is wrong with you?! Let us go you psycho!" yelled Gary, struggling in an attempt to reach his Pokéballs.  
Tracey, dangerously calm, walked over and put the gun against his head. For once he didn't have that dumb, stoned look on his face. There was an evil glint in his eyes.  
Tracey removed all the Pokéballs from Gary's belt and threw them into the fireplace. There was no fire luckily, but that just meant that Tracey would light one himself.  
"What are you doing?!" Gary yelled again, struggling harder.  
"Mime, mime, mime, mime!" cried Mimie.  
"Shut up!" said Tracey. But Mimie wouldn't.  
"Mime, mime, mime, mime!"  
Tracey walked over. "Then I'll kill you first," he said, aiming the gun.  
"Tracey, stop it!" cried Ash.  
Tracey whirled around and pointed the gun at Ash. "Don't interfere, Ash," he said angrily.  
"You can't kill them!" Ash yelled.  
"Fine. I'll kill you!"   
"Pika!" Pikachu jumped between his Trainer and the crazed maniac.   
"Pikachu, don't!" cried Ash.  
"Piiiiikaaaa... CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Pikachu fried the hell out of Tracey. He looked at Pikachu with fire in his eyes. "Die, you stupid rat!" he yelled, and pointed the gun.   
  
*BANG!*  
  
"Chaaa!"  
  
*thud*   
  
Pikachu hit the floor hard.  
"PIKACHU!!!" Ash ran over to the still Pokémon. The blood stood out harshly against the bright yellow fur. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Suddenly, there was a crash, and a brown, blue, white and red blur came streaking through a hole in the ceiling.   
Bob hit Tracey like a ton of bricks. He drove him into the wall with a loud thud which knocked Tracey unconscious. The gun clattered to the floor.  
"Sorry I didn't come sooner. There was no way for me to get in, so I had to make a hole." Bob apologised. But the apology fell on deaf ears. Then Bob noticed Ash, crouched over Pikachu's motionless form. Togepi was crying, but not in her usual attention-seeking way.  
Bob was speechless. He just managed to untie everyone.  
Mrs Ketchum ran over to Ash. He turned and looked at her with tear filled eyes. He carefully picked up Pikachu's body and let his mum hug him.  
Nobody in the room could break the awful silence that thundered in their ears.  
  
"Kaaa..."  
Ash's eyes shot open at the faint sound. Pikachu smiled weakly up at him.  
"PIKACHU! YOU'RE ALIVE!" cried Ash, so loud that the windows rattled.  
Suddenly, everyone recovered themselves. Professor Oak had a look at Pikachu. "He needs immediate attention," he told Ash, and led him into another room.  
***  
Some time later, Pikachu was making a great recovery. Tracey had been taken to jail.  
Once again Ash, Brock, Misty, Togepi, Pikachu, Gary, Mimie, Bob, Mrs Ketchum and Professor Oak were in the same place, but there were no gun weilding maniacs around.  
"Professor, why did Tracey go crazy back there? You never did tell us," said Brock.  
Professor Oak told the same story he'd told many times before, in police statements etc.  
"Well, Tracey had been stalking me for some time, and I feared that he already had a mental problem. One night I confronted him, and that's when he snapped. He went wild and I tried to escape, but he wouldn't let me and anyone else that came by was caught too.   
"Then I managed to get to a phone, and I called the first number that came into my head. He tied us all up, as you saw, and was threatening to kill us. Later the police found him to be in possesion of several illegal substances, use of which had obviously contributed to his mental health problem."  
Nobody could think of anything to say for a few minutes. Finally Bob spoke.   
"Well, I must be off. I'm only sorry I couldn't have helped more."  
"Don't apologise Bob," said Misty. "If you hadn't come when you did, Tracey might have gotten all of us. You saved us all."  
"I'm only doing my job," he said, and then flew off into the sunset.  
  
  
THE END  
  
'Kay... that turned out to be like The Mangled Ketchum Family Tree there. Note to self: never drink the water AND eat 16 ghost drops before writing. Mmm, ghost drops... that makes 17.   
Please review, or else if you don't let your feelings out this fic'll get to ya and you'll go crazy!  
Finished: 26/3/01 


End file.
